04.17.08

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. - Matthew 11:28-30.

Holly Smith shares her testimony of how God brought her out of severe depression and into the abundant life:

I was diagnosed with postpartum depression about two years ago. All I knew was that I didn't feel like my normal self, and I wasn't sure why. I think everyone around me noticed something was wrong, but I really didn’t want to bother anyone with my problem. So I didn’t say anything about how I was feeling. I held it in inside like a deep dark secret, and it only made things worse.

Now thinking back I wish I had said something, and I would have been able to get the help I needed sooner. I lost interest in the things I used to enjoy doing…I didn't want to talk to anyone or really even associate with the world at all…or anyone in it. It was as if a dark cloud had surrounded me, and I felt there wasn’t a light at the end of the tunnel. When I became pregnant with my 4th child, Sarah, I was able to start taking some anti-depressants during my pregnancy, and I was starting to feel somewhat better until she was born. Then I decided to stop taking my meds cold turkey and that’s when things started to go downhill. I really didn’t have an emotional attachment to Sarah. I saw a doctor once again and then got back on meds and started going to counseling as well. Both the counseling and the meds together helped me to get back in to the swing of things.

I once again felt like myself again, and I felt like going outside and playing with my kids. I felt like I was able to be the mom that they needed me to be and be the wife my husband needed. I can’t tell you how many times before that I wished I felt like going outside and being a part of the world, but I just couldn’t bring myself out of the darkness. I am hoping that by sharing my experience with postpartum depression, it will give courage to someone also suffering with postpartum to decide to ask for help or be able to help a loved one. I will tell you my journey up until this point was definitely not an easy one.

I solely thank Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior for giving me the strength to make it through the struggle, and that I am still here today. I am now able to reach out and let others know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If you have faith that GOD can heal you it will happen. I was never much of a believer in miracles until one happened to me. I know that I didn't go through this experience without some good coming out of it. I feel like my job now is to help others who suffer from the same thing I did. I am now free of taking any medications for depression and anxiety and the glory goes to God. He was my rock to lean on because I was incapable of healing myself. I feel like climbing to the highest mountain and shouting to the world Jesus is so awesome!!!!! I am very passionate about my relationship with Christ now. I still have daily struggles as I think we all do but knowing I have a Father in Heaven who loves me so much, and that He gave His life for mine gives me all the peace in the world. It is an amazing, indescribable feeling!

Depression can ruin lives, families, and relationships if it is left untreated. Since sometimes you can’t tell someone is suffering from depression in a physical sense it goes without being diagnosed. I think one of the best things that helped me was just being able to talk about it. There were times when I felt like I was the only one in the world going through the struggle with depression, but there are so many millions of people who have all been through the same thing you just don’t realize it until you are on the road to recovery!! I pray that by sharing my testimony it will give someone the courage to seek help for themselves or maybe a loved one going through depression.

(You can contact Holly at hollyosmith@hotmail.com )